The Pursuit of Happiness

Is it a constitutional right or a social construct?

I realize that my last blog post was well over a month ago, but it is justified. My intentions with this blog aren't to bore you with my day-to-day routine, but rather to use it as a sort of reflective journal, or pseudo-memoir, if you will. 

Almost everyday I'm asked why I chose to study abroad in Denmark; more often-than-not, I'm being asked by the locals themselves. As many of you know, I'm the ultimate pessimist. The glass has never, and will never be half full. Someone drank my water, and I'm pissed about it. Regardless, what attracted me the most to Denmark was it's reputation for being one of the happiest countries in the world. A few weeks into my journey, I decided to go on a cognitive adventure to find out if the Danes really are the happiest in the world. What made them the happiest? Is it the short days and cold climate? Or is it the fact that they pay 70% of their income in taxes? I'm going to go ahead and say none of the above. 

When I try to compare my experience in Denmark to my friends studying abroad in the western, warmer parts of Europe, there's a couple of differences. While many of them seem to be on an extended vacation (hell, many studying here in CPH are on an extended vacation), I am actually beginning to feel pretty integrated into the Danish "flo" of the week. Believe it or not, I don't drink every night, I have to study, and I have a routine much like I would have back home. At first, I was pretty upset with the reality behind my situation. I was expecting a spring break that would last all semester; however, a few months into my semester, I am not only beginning to accept my experience, but also embrace it. 

Here in Copenhagen, I have more time to think than I have ever had back home. Whether it's on the two and half hours I spend commuting into and out of the city every day, or the lonely nights in the countryside house I live in--all I do is think. I reflect on my experience here thus far, I am always drawing dichotomies between life here and life in Peoria, and I'm in a constant state of nostalgia. 

Here's where I'm going with this...although my experience here isn't exactly what I had pictured it to be, maybe it's what I needed it to be?

For the first time in a long time, I don't feel the constant pressure of having to please someone, and although I'm locked into my routine here...I'm liberated in everything I do. I don't have to check in with anyone every time I make a move, and I can go days without talking to anyone at home. With that comes a lot of time alone. Those of you who know me back home, know that my life is vacant of all solitude. That being said, at first I was terrified of the loneliness. Although I'd like to think of myself as pretty independent, I've always relied on someone else for a second opinion. It took me 20 years to learn how to do laundry, and I am just now starting cook for myself. Regardless, the moral of the story is that everyday I surprise myself a little more. When things go wrong, I only have myself to rely on. If I'm lost, I have to find my way home...with the few resource available.

Needless to say, all this thinking has me questioning the pursuit of happiness. What is it that we're after? Here I am in what is arguably one of the happiest countries in the world, and I don't know whether I'm genuinely happier, or just happy to be away from the systematic life waiting for me across the Atlantic. With confidence, I can assure you the Danes are by no means the happiest people on this planet. However, they are content with their lives, and have an incredible trust in their government, which is obviously lacking back in the red, white, and blue. At first I mistook this "contentness" with a lack of ambition. The entire society is structured around homogeneity. Each life has equal value, and there isn't a social hierarchy to climb. You work just as hard as your neighbor, you pay the same amount in taxes as your boss (if you have one), and you're not competing to be better or wealthier than the person sitting next to you on the train. In return, you have  free health care, your education is covered, and the government takes care of you in essentially every aspect of your life. To the narrow-minded, this may sound like extreme socialism, perhaps border-line communist. However, the people here possess a je ne sais quoi that could easily be mistaken for genuine happiness. 

Who knows, maybe they are the happiest people in the world? In my opinion (and I swear this isn't the cynic in me), I think the rest of us are just really miserable most of the time. 

Paradigms. Here's one for you: 

I just touched on the homogeneity present within Danish society; everyone's one the same page. On the other end of the spectrum lies America. Rooted in our history is the American Dream and diversity. We have social ladders that we have to climb, and everyone needs to know about it (refer to your Facebook). Obviously, I'm included.  

Our country was founded on the "Pursuit of Happiness," but maybe that's why it seems so intangible. Since our beggining, we've mistaken happiness with our desire to have houses larger than our neighbors, better grades than our classmates, and more money than we did a month ago. Even when we accomplish our "goals," we're still not satisfied--nothing is enough. Guilty of this myself, I truly am beginning to question what is it that we're after. I've spent the past five semesters doing everything I can to make myself the strongest candidate for medical school. Along with that, I lost all spontaneity and adopted a systematic approach to almost every aspect of my life. Arguably, all in the name of "happiness." You know, because if I get into med school I'll be happy, Right? 

Anyways, I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but for the first time in my life I feel like I'm starting to actually develop as an intellectual, competent member of society. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. So maybe I'm not supposed to be out getting drunk every night, and maybe this time alone is what I need? I'm learning more about myself than I ever have before, and can see myself changing, both inside and out (thanks sugga daddy for spoiling me with pastries). 

I realize that after a month of not posting, you were hoping to read about sexcapades across Scandinavia. But this is the truth about my study abroad experience...and I'm okay with that. After all, I am studying abroad.

On another note, I will be posting about my adventures in Budapest and Vienna this week (more along the lines of sexcapades)...as soon as midterms are out of the way (yes, we have midterms). 

Until next time,

you know you love me.

xoxo,

AA